1. Celebrity Big Brother Odds Paddy Powered
2. Celebrity Big Brother Odds Paddy Powers
3. Presidential Odds Paddy Power

So this is it – tonight will see the eviction from Celebrity Big Brother of either Jade Goody or Shilpa Shetty, marking the end of a week even more racist and bullying than the Holocaust and the Herero and Namaqua Genocide put together, or something.

It's been the week where Celebrity Big Brother switched from being a boring show about laughing at what a tit Leo Sayer is to being a show that's sparked off diplomatic unease in India, raised questions in the House Of Commons and the made the Celebrity Big Brother sponsor leg it away from the show as fast as it can. And tonight it'll all come thundering to a brutal climax, with the Celebrity Big Brother eviction of either Shilpa Shetty or Jade Goody. Admittedly that will still leave either three bullies or two bullies and a victim in the Celebrity Big Brother house, but that doesn't really sound so exciting, does it? Oh, and we've also heard that someone else is entering the Celebrity Big Brother house tonight to try and ease all the tensions. It's Kramer from Seinfeld. Whoops!

Celebrity Big Brother Odds Paddy Powered

Hungry-for-love teens take their first steps in the land of real-world dating. Dance dance dance dance dance and nothing else. Also, at one point in her Big Brother Celebrity Hijack VT she called herself a ‘product’. So basically she’s a bit of a turd. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 16/1. Calista Robertson (Special skill: violins and stuff) Musician who’s self-absorbed to the point of dementia. Calista can write any type of song, you know, from grime to classical to really. To win I’m A Celebrity 2016. 3/1 Katie Price 4/1 Charlotte Crosby 7/2 Brian Dowling 7/1 Calum Best 7/1 Brian Belo 8/1 Ed Balls 8/1 Jessica Ennis-Hill 10/1 Honey G 10/1 Scarlett Moffatt 10/1 Austin Armacost.

So who leaves Celebrity Big Brother tonight – Jade Goody or Shilpa Shetty? Here come the Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for the eviction of Shilpa Shetty and Jade Goody, with help from Paddy Power…

Shilpa Shetty – Prior to Tuesday, Shilpa Shetty was the annoyingly controlling one from Celebrity Big Brother who dictated mealtimes and had the most trouble altering her behaviour patterns to fit in with the rest of the Celebrity Big Brother housemates. But then a fat pikey started screeching at her about Oxo and all of a sudden Shilpa isn't just the favourite to win Celebrity Big Brother any more, she's the gleaming figurehead for everyone who's ever been racially abused by a fat pikey about Oxo in the past. Shilpa gave up a life of luxury in India for a shot at European fame on Celebrity Big Brother, and that's what she's got. People say that Helen Of Troy had a face that launched a thousand ships, but Shilpa Shetty has a face that set fire to a thousand effigies of Channel 4 executives in India. Will Shilpa be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother tonight? We just said she was the favourite to win, weren't you listening? Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 10/1

Jade Goody – This whole Celebrity Big Brother racism furore has divided the country right down the middle into those who feel sorry for the all bullying pitched at Shilpa Shetty, and that man who used to run around town shouting 'White power! White Power!' all the time until he was arrested. All in all, the public seems to be weighted enormously in favour of evicting Jade Goody from the Celebrity Big Brother house tonight and – presuming she goes – Jade won't know what's hit her. Thanks to Celebrity Big Brother she's been touted as the biggest racist since Jar Jar Binks, her face has been withdrawn from an anti-bullying website and anyone who uses her perfume is instantly set upon by a group of knife-wielding thugs for having the audacity to smell a bit like that racist off the telly. On the other hand, there's a strong chance that – after hissing and booing Jade Goody on the way out of the Celebrity Big Brother house, we'll all wake up on Saturday morning and wonder what all the fuss was about. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 1/50

Next week: With one of these angry nitwits gone, we're excepting that the Celebrity Big Brother house will usher forth the Age of Aquarius and everyone will be living in an age of universal brotherhood rooted in pure reason. So we'll probably be doing betting odds for that. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Celebrity Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Make the most of these next few hours, because at 8:30pm Celebrity Big Brother starts – and your life will effectively freeze for a month, as news about two hazily-remembered microcelebrities squabbling over rice starts to take on immense significance.

Celebrity Big Brother Odds Paddy Powers

But we still don't know who any of the Celebrity Big Brother housemates are yet, and we won't until Davina McCall introduces them tonight. Sure, we're bound to be in for a few 'What? George Galloway!?' moments – and no doubt a few 'Preston from The Ordinary whatnow?' moments too – but Paddy Power has a huge list of possible Celebrity Big Brother hopefuls, and we're going to finish showing them to you right now, so that you can use the gigantic betting odds to make a bundle of cash.

Here's the final part of our pre-series Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for a whole load of unconfirmed celebrities, with help from Paddy Power…

Robert Kilroy Silk – Some people on this list will have stopped being famous because they got old or wore out their talent too soon, or may have never been famous at all, but Robert Kilroy Silk stopped being famous because everyone suddenly realised what a massive wanker he is. Racist, intolerant, grasping, arrogant, condescending, fluorescent… we could continue to list reasons why Robert Kilroy Silk is one of the biggest arseholes this country has ever produced, but we won't. Because we get the horrible feeling that Robert Kilroy Silk might just be the most entertaining thing about Celebrity Big Brother this year. And, yes, we do hate ourselves for admitting that. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 10/1

Tara Reid – At the turn of the century Tara Reid had a promising acting career in a number of teen comedies. Fast forward seven years and Tara Reid is famous for so much more, like a) being wasted all the time, b) being the owner of some honestly harrowing cosmetic surgery and c) somehow being the worst thing in any Uwe Boll film ever. Wait a minute, that sort of makes Tara Reid the Pete Burns of this year's Celebrity Big Brother. Ace! Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Su Pollard – It's bewildering to think that Su Pollard hasn't been on a reality TV show like Celebrity Big Brother before, since the genre seems to have been invented especially for her. Su Pollard has exactly the right mix of nostalgia, one-dimensional personality traits and an unrelenting compulsion to be the centre of attention to be a success on Celebrity Big Brother. However, can you imagine anything worse than being locked in a room with H from Steps and Su Pollard? Apart from being locked in a room with H from Steps and Su Pollard and watching them have sex, of course. Oh the humanity. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Adam Ant – First things first – Dirk Wears White Sox by Adam And The Ants is genuinely one of the best albums that money can buy. And Adam Ant is quite obviously a genius – at one point in 1981 seven songs in the top 40 were his, plus he's probably also had sex with Jamie Lee Curtis and Heather Graham. That's not why Adam Ant is probably going to be on Celebrity Big Brother, though – he's going to be on Celebrity Big Brother because he's bipolar, once held up a pub with an imitation gun while dressed as a cowboy and changed the lyrics of Stand And Deliver to Save The Gorilla complete with monkey noise solo. Who mentioned car crash television? Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 7/1

Sarah Harding – We're told that Sarah Harding is one of Girls Aloud. Not the Irish one, not the ginger one, not the one who was supposed to have called a bathroom attendant a 'jigaboo' and not the completely nondescript one – Sarah Harding is the blonde one who seems to be contractually obliged to appear in a bra in at least one tabloid newspaper every day. We can't think why Sarah Harding is meant to be on Celebrity Big Brother. Perhaps it's for her sparkling conversation. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 7/1

Justin Hawkins – Justin Hawkins didn't quit The Darkness for the reason everyone thought – that he'd ridden his one-joke pony to death and nobody liked him any more – but because he took a lot of cocaine and being in a band wasn't good for his recovery. Good job Celebrity Big Brother is around, then – everyone knows that having your smallest movements analysed in forensic detail on a constantly-televised popularity contest is just the thing for recovering drug addicts. Still, at least Justin Hawkins was in rehab with Tom from Keane and Pete Doherty, so he has vital experience in living with arseholes. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 6/1

Whitney Houston – That's right, you heard. Whitney Houston. Reports are saying that Celebrity Big Brother producers offered Whitney Houston half a million pounds to appear on the show, but whether or not she accepted remains to be seen. It'll be a big score for Celebrity Big Brother if Whitney Houston does appear – she's a household name and has sold more than 140 million albums – and we're almost certain that the fact that she happens to be a recovering reclusive crack addict who's divorcing her abusive husband amid claims that Osama Bin Laden had a giant crush on her is just a coincidence. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 5/1

Presidential Odds Paddy Power

Tomorrow – we'll see how many of these fools actually made it to the Celebrity Big Brother house, and hit you with some new Celebrity Big Brother betting odds. In the meantime, go to Paddy Power right now and place a bet, you hear?